80s Holiday Mixtape!

December 19, 2024

By Lori Majewski

It’s the holiday season, and you know what that means: just over two months to go until it’s all aboard our favorite time machine to take us back to a simpler time of rad fashion, ozone-eliminating hair, and the best music made by the best artists PERIOD!

On that last note, if you want to have a happy eighties holiday — and get away from that overplayed 90s Christmas hit (cough, Mariah Carey), here’s a mixtape (recorded on a Maxell cassette, naturally) that’ll have you jingling back to the best decade there ever was!

The Ramones: “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Tonight)”
Leave it to these punk legends to tell is like it really is on Christmas Eve, when the parents are more than a little lit and trying to put together a Barbie Dream House. Just don’t end up in the drunk tank with the singer of this next song…

The Pogues with Kirsty MacColl “Fairytale of New York”
Neither Shane McCowan and Kirsty MacColl are still with us, but this depressing holiday duet has taken on a life of its own. Recorded in 1988, it gets bigger every year, which is why there’s an endless parade of artists trying to outdo the original. No one ever will, but especially not Jon Bon Jovi: He decided to sing both parts AND sanitized the lyrics! Not to speak ill of an 80s icon but just…no.

The Smithereens: “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”
Speaking of New Jersey… These 80s Cruise 2023 alums were clearly inspired by another state-mate, Bruce Springsteen, when they covered a kids’ Christmas classic. There’s even a sax solo!

Band Aid: “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
It turned 40 years old this year, the charity single by the British supergroup that spawned eighties philanthropic endeavors USA For Africa, Live Aid, Farm Aid, Hands Across America… Yes, the lyrics in the original, 1984 version may be seen as Euro-centric, factually wrong, and controversial/un-PC, there’s no denying that when you first Bono bellow “Tonight thank god it’s them, instead of you,” you ponied up the money for the single to contribute to this fundraiser for victims of the Ethiopian famine. It taught me music can change the world.

Wham!: “Last Christmas”
Also celebrating it’s 40th anniversary (?!), this was George Michael’s hope for a fourth number-one song in the British charts in 1984 — and also bragging rights to the country’s Christmas number-one. That was before Band Aid. George would have to settle for number two. However, he donated all the money made from “Last Christmas” to the Band Aid Trust which is where the royalties still go to this day.

The Pretenders: “2000 Miles”
Chrissie Hynde contributed a lovely version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” to the 1987 compilation A Very Special Christmas, the Special Olympics fundraiser. But it’s this melancholic tribute to late bandmates James Honeyman-Scott and Pete Farndon that brings tears to the eyes with each seasonal spin.

The Waitresses: “Christmas Wrapping”
Talk about prescient! Chris Butler of Akron’s The Waitresses wrote this as an anti-Christmas song in 1981, at the dawn of the decade of excess that, let’s face it, became one big Black Friday. But late singer Patty Donahue made it with her slight eye-roll of a delivery that’s like Bridget Jones, Carrie Bradshaw and Love, Actually all rolled into a single song.

DEVO: “Merry Something”
“Whether you’re a Christian, Muslim or Jew/Happy Holidays.” Hey, what about Festivus (for the rest of us!), DEVO? Maybe it’s impied in the title of this holiday offering from the subversive weirdoes who headed The 80s Cruise 2023.

The Alarm: “Happy Christmas (War is Over)”
This thought-provoking tune by John & Yoko/the Plastic Ono Band is pretty great — far better than McCartney’s saccharine “A Wonderful Christmas Time”! I also thought it was untouchable and uncoverable. But leave it to Mike Peters, songwriter of thought-provoking songs with The Alarm (80s Cruise 2025) to put his own stamp on a it.

They Might Be Giants: “Feast of Lights”
Our favorite 80s alt-eccentrics rhyme “Hannukah” with “harmonica” in this ode to the eight-night celebration that, this year, begins on December 25th. You don’t have to be Jewish to be charmed!

Erasure: “In the Bleak Midwinter”
Andy Bell joins us on The 80s Cruise in 2025! If only we sailed in December, I could hear this former church choir-boy sing the entirety of Erasure’s Snow Globe album, my perennial favorite — although, it’s really a winter record, as proven by their rendition of the little-covered “In the Bleak Midwinter.” Wait… the first week of March is still technically winter. How about it, Andy?!

Sinead O’Connor: “Silent Night”
This force of nature took an over-covered classic and remade it into a haunting reminder of the biblical story behind it. For my money, no other version can even come close.

Air Supply: “Sleigh Ride”
If you were on the 2024 Cruise, then you know these two soft-rock Russells are unironic in their love for love songs. So, of course they recorded a 1987 album of tunes timed to one of the most romantic times of the year. There’s even a couple of originals, and one is called “Love is All,” because, well, LOVE!

Other 80s festive tunes:

• Squeeze: Christmas Day
• U2: “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”
• Run-DMC: “Christmas in Hollis”
• Alison Moyet: “Coventry Carol”
• Twisted Sister: “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
• Cocteau Twins: “Frosty the Snowman”
• Bon Jovi: “Please Come Home For Christmas”
• Spinal Tap: “Christmas With the Devil”

There are only a few cabins remaining on The 80s Cruise, and they’re selling fast! Don’t miss out on this epic voyage packed with over 50 concerts and live performances from your favorite 80s bands, theme nights, and non-stop 80s action. Book now before cabins sell out!