Don’t You Forget About…” The 80s Cruise Lineup!
July 27, 2026
On Saturday, March 24, 1984, a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal gathered for detention in Shermer High School’s library. We were all there, too, rebelling against authority and dancing like only our best friends are watching.
And in some ways, we still are! As we gather on the high seas to relive all the bodacious and memorable moments of our high school days, we’ll do it while the totally rad soundtrack provided by the cruise’s all-star lineup of 80s icons plays around us.
So, as we look at the stellar lineup for the 2027 voyage of The 80s Cruise sailing out of New Orleans, consider that the ultimate personality test is no longer about what’s in your lunchbox or locker—it’s about which musical act is making you pull out your red or blue cards and race to rock out in the theater.
Are you The Princess?
Like Claire, you’re pristine, effortlessly fashionable, already have your reservation to eat a nice sushi lunch at Izumi, and are waiting for just the right moment to let loose during Katrina (formerly of Katrina and the Waves)’s set.
Claire wouldn’t dare be caught anywhere uncool, but she secretly harbors a desperate need for pure, unadulterated, sunny pop joy. While she might start the set standing near the back, arms crossed, sipping a premium cocktail that her dad’s paying for, the moment the opening chords of “Walking on Sunshine” echo across the deck, she is front and center. It’s bright, it’s upbeat, and it matches her perfectly curated vacation wardrobe.
Are you The Brain?
Like Brian, you’re already memorizing the ship’s deck plans, cramming for 80s trivia, keeping a very precise schedule of port excursions, and can’t wait to blow up some moves on the dancefloor while DJ Jazzy Jeff plays.
Brian doesn’t just listen to music; he appreciates the math, the timing, and the technical execution behind it. Like any white guy from the burbs, he can recite all the lyrics to any hip hop song. Watching a master champion like DJ Jazzy Jeff perform is basically Brian’s version of a masterclass. He will be the guy nodding rhythmically, completely fascinated by the flawless precision of the scratching and the production.
Are you The Athlete?
Like Andrew, you’re planning to spend a lot of time in the onboard fitness center, win every pool deck tournament, and (after a few drinks) bring high-octane energy to the dance floor when Night Ranger starts rocking.
Andrew needs high-velocity anthems that match his intense, competitive spirit. Night Ranger delivers the ultimate adrenaline-pumping soundtrack for a guy who lives life at full throttle. When the twin guitar solos kick in on “Sister Christian” or “Don’t Tell Me You Love Me,” Andrew is leading the crowd in a massive, high-energy air guitar session—probably wearing a headband and showing everyone exactly how a varsity champion commands a crowd.
Are you The Basket Case?
Like Allison, you’re packing Pixy Stix into the formal dining room, going to watch (and silently judge) the entire cosplay contest pre-judging, claim your spot in the back alcove in the Schooner bar, and fight the urge to smile during Chaka Khan’s performance.
Allison doesn’t (outwardly) care about high school cliques or conformity. She thrives on the unexpected, the fiercely independent, and the wildly expressive. The soaring vocal power and unstoppable, funky rhythm of Chaka Khan are exactly what speaks to her inner fire. When “I Feel for You” hits her boombox, Allison will shed her quiet, reclusive shell and unleash her eccentric, dance-like-nobody’s-watching moves in her bedroom, completely owning, and relishing, in her unique vibe.
Are you The Criminal?
Like Bender, you’ll want to see just how far you can push the rules during the trivia contests, wear flannel while walking up and down the Promenade, claim your spot in the pub, and get into the zone with Bob Geldof and The Boomtown Rats.
Bender needs something with a heavy dose of anti-establishment defiance, zero patience for authority, and raw new-wave attitude. Bob Geldof’s legendary, fiercely political punk-adjacent swagger is exactly Bender’s speed. He’ll be the one in the back row with his boots up on the seats in front of him, smirking during “I Don’t Like Mondays,” pretending he’s too cool to care—right up until he secretly pumps his fist in the air during the final, rebellious chorus.
Are you and your gang planning to cosplay as the Breakfast Club? Which Shermer High archetype will you be repping during the concerts?
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